Talk:Story/@comment-5733573-20180415080116

I really enjoyed this. The plot is excellent, and the religious connections are beautiful. This is saying a lot, because sci-fi stories like this are not usually my thing, but you have something wonderful going on here.

There are a few issues I want to point out, from most important to least important. There are some things I'm unclear about, mostly with regard to the intelligences' bodies. It's implied in Part 2 that they can body hop, but how does this work and where do they find these bodies? Also, your description of the bodies seems inconsistent, as alternately they're mistaken for humans and described as having "metallic" bodies. I would love to see this cleared up.

On a just slightly less important note, there some misspellings/typos that should be fixed. There are some in Chapter 3 of Part 3 that could cause some serious confusion if left unattended, such as where you wrote "creator" when you should have written "creation." It's also worth noting that your use of the word "aligned" in reference to facial expressions is technically incorrect as that's not what that word means.

Even with these issues, you have a remarkable story. Throughout, I was thinking about how much I'd love to see it adapted into a stage play for three actors. Speaking of which, you might really enjoy reading the play R.U.R., if you haven't already. It gave us the word "robot." In any event, thanks so much for asking me to read this. I greatly enjoyed every second of it, and honestly couldn't stop once I started!